A New Day

Yesterday was a pretty low-feeling sort of day.

Last night, I had a little talk with my husband. We both have weight to lose, demons to conquer, etc. I think we’re both ready to work on it. It’s always easier to commit when you feel like you aren’t alone. We’re going to be in this struggle together.

My main focus is weight loss, but I want to couch that goal in the idea of becoming an athlete. I’m 33 years old. That is completely attainable. I’m not certain what my sport will be, but it’s likely to involve running and hiking of some sort. My husband also wants to get back to athlete status. He’s a watersports guy and has a definite end goal in mind.

With our goals in mind, we talked about some ways to achieve them:

  • eat healthier food (within our budget, which is tight)
  • move more (starting out, this will be sort of unstructured – just the goal to move)
  • get better sleep (enforced bedtime of 9:30PM, enforced No Screen Time After 8:30 for me)

My husband took a big step to starting his fight last night. I’m beginning, in earnest on Monday, September 2.

Crazy-Making

I am absolutely out of control.

I overate yesterday by 1000 calories.

That’s not unusual lately.

I haven’t been active at all. It’s difficult when I’m working 8 hours a day at a desk job and then studying 6 more hours at home, but something has got to change.

I feel miserable in my clothes. I’m tired all the time.

Something has to change.

Day 4

Yesterday was an absolute shit show. I forgot my packed lunch at home and let that give me license to overeat at Jimmy John’s. After a board meeting in the evening, I was tired and grumpy and went through the fast food drive thru. I went way over my calorie target for the day.

I got progressively grumpier about the whole thing and ended up not walking with the dog, either.

Can today be better?

Day 3

Yesterday was not a stellar day on the commitments front. While I did log all my food, I didn’t remain below my calorie goal. I did try to focus on eating only when hungry and then only to the point of satiation. I’ve never focused, intently, on intuitive eating, but I did try to recognize my body’s hunger cues yesterday.

We had a substantial downpour yesterday afternoon that morphed into a misting rain until sundown. Because of that, the dog and I didn’t go for a walk.

Also, I gave in to the craving of something sweet in the evening. I’m surprised that this is a habit that is being so stubborn. I wouldn’t ever categorize myself as a person with a sweet tooth. I very often crave salty snacks. However, I will try, try again.

A major win, yesterday, was not succumbing to the siren song of baked goods that a colleague brought in to the office. There were cinnamon buns and donuts at the printer all day long. Each time I passed by, I gave myself a little pep talk about why I didn’t need to eat them. I’m happy to say that I didn’t give in!

Today, I commit to the same things:

  • logging my food at MyFitnessPal
  • a walk with the dog
  • no dessert after dinner

Day 2

I successfully kept two thirds of yesterday’s commitments.

I logged all of my food, even managing to stay below my calorie target.

I convinced my husband to go on a walk with me after dinner. We took the two dogs along and walked from the house down our gravel lane to the cattle grate that signals the end of our shared driveway. In total, it was about a 1.5 mile walk – nothing very crazy – but it was something. It was getting off our asses and moving, which is a bit of an accomplishment these days.

I was not successful in avoiding dessert at dinner. There were brownies, and that is always difficult to resist!

Today, I commit to the same things:

  • logging my food at MyFitnessPal
  • a walk with the dog
  • no dessert after dinner

Highest Weight

I am at my very highest weight ever. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I’m uncomfortable in my clothes.

Last night, my husband commented about how gray his hair has gotten since we started dating. We looked through some pictures from the beginning of our relationship. That’s when I realized how much weight I’ve gained in the last 6 years.

70 pounds, give or take a few.

Today, I start again. I’ve started a lot of times before. We’ll see what happens.

Today, I commit to:

  • logging my food at MyFitnessPal
  • a walk with the dog
  • no dessert after dinner

Today’s Weight: 268.4 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Pounds to Goal: 108.4 lbs